Sunday Night, June 22, 2014
Lots happening, many options, although starting to be reduced. First, PC is still in hospital, pneumonia taking a blow to his strength. Not able to stand for PT (physical therapy) so they are working on leg lifts and arm flexing, he appears rather frustrated and just wants to return home and be left in peace.
I did remind him that this starts with his request to be transported to VA in Saint Petersburg, and they it has taken on a life of its own...he said he knew, and was so sorry, then closed his eyes and shut the world out.
So that is that! please, no plans in place yet. Had a placement secured, if PT felt there was a chance , so for now, awaiting tomorrow.
Good news, however is he has been placed on waiting list for Florida Veterans Home in Land o Lakes, FL, but his placement on list has changed to fifth. I have a message, to be picked up in morning to director of admissions to inform her of medical change. So tomorrow looks just as busy as my usual pace. Honestly, this takes a long time, but PC is well worth the effort!
have an appointment with social worker at hospital, to teleconference VA social worker and see what options may be available now, that he is more stable on some of the medications.
And I am reviewing the list of vetted facilities my BFF/little sis and a RN friend have produced. Most are full, but I will keep working my way down list.
Went to church this am, and tried to "act as if" all is ok, but honestly it is not. There was an ECW meeting afterwards, I tried to sit still and attend, but had to leave.
Just need quiet time, and had scheduled meeting with Hospice nurse. Came home earlier than my usual, walked the dog, played with her till she was tired, then went to my scrap creations, trying to figure something or anything out, making slow progress but honestly, this may never leave my house! No matter how I try and cut and recut to get some order, it resists. So, think it is God's way of reminding me I can not make a giraffe become an elephant! Or as my dad would say..you can not make a silk purse from a sow's ear. Always thought was so strange, think I understand better now.
Silk is very hard to work with, it also has a mind of its own!
Somewhat reminiscent of a crazy quilt I made right after my world changed here in
Clearwater, now almost 25 years ago! Things certainly became calmer, safer and less stressful, I meditated this eve on how things have improved, and KNOW this is the path I must trod, and I am not doing it alone.
I finished that quilt, and noticed the bright, clear and open spaces within it. Today it means to much, and is safely packed away, only to be viewed or remembered for my rejoicing!
Someone said to me that this blog is selfish and I have been reflecting on that. Yes, maybe selfish. But then why NOT? I have spent the majority of my life caring about and for others. Maybe time to
care for me, to find where and who I am, honestly look at all the wrinkles, freckles, age marks, plain old chicken fat, and accept...and know that with the grace of GOD anything is possible, and HE will help me through, and has placed amazing people in my life to love and support me. Just knowing they are there makes this all doable!
May your peace come, not through piecing, but through faith and hope!
Mac
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