and it rained, and rained....drip, drip, drip....
As you may know, there has been an ongoing "challenge" with my studio roof! Been replaced, repaired, repeated...well, today, in the drizzle a new company came, and worked and worked....and did not stop...finally, even as the drizzle turned to rain, the roof appears to be non-leaky!
As they struggled, I pulled weeds..got wet, loved every second of it! Love the rain! And my weeds are nicely growing. I love the variety that keeps popping up, they are so very different, interesting and determined to grow. What a lesson to learn, and yes, the bottle barrier is keeping the insects away without any chemicals.
Roofers coming back tomorrow to check and see if holding and seal final coat...pray is does and this to shall move to the done done, done category.
On other fronts, things starting to be done, done, done!!! My self imposed goal date in September 28, for all elements to be in play.
Personal quest continues, and appears to be moving in right direction, finally! Know that this is the leading of my God.
Government details, details, date, and repeat...however, I am a warrior, and know I have the determination to last the good fight...things are getting lighter, and brighter..
And, score at half time: wrought iron 0, MAC 14---game delayed because of heavy rain this afternoon, so more to follow...I am learning I do NOT like painting, but will persist...and trying to paint in the rain is not a really great idea. Just keep moving!
Amazing, now I see that small porch floor needs attention, and house needs painting, and....etc., etc. Interesting how one thing always leads to another revelation. So very true in all I do, so decided to try and just enjoy this ride!
Morning meditation words of day: put it in a box...or get a box...interesting, but worked out that way.
Peace with sufficiency....Mac
Friday, September 19, 2014
3:35 am...all is well
3:35 am and all is "well"
Long storyline... longer week. Sufficient energy to do all that must be done, however finding that...ready for it....life is complicated, and although I profess freedom and self sufficiency, I am dependent upon the many and I am not always free to do that which my head speaks, or my heart speaks, or my profession speaks, or my history mandates....things will settle down, and life is always a joy...so much better than the alternative.
As my daddy told me, "the ox is in the ditch..now get it out"
May all know I wish no harm, only peace, prevailing winds, and patience...and blissful rest for the weary, hope for the oppressed and predictions that persist. Peace and love. Mac
Long storyline... longer week. Sufficient energy to do all that must be done, however finding that...ready for it....life is complicated, and although I profess freedom and self sufficiency, I am dependent upon the many and I am not always free to do that which my head speaks, or my heart speaks, or my profession speaks, or my history mandates....things will settle down, and life is always a joy...so much better than the alternative.
As my daddy told me, "the ox is in the ditch..now get it out"
May all know I wish no harm, only peace, prevailing winds, and patience...and blissful rest for the weary, hope for the oppressed and predictions that persist. Peace and love. Mac
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Rain, glorious rain..loving my life!!!
What a great day! This day has been VERY interesting, and if you are from the south, you know what I mean! And did not have a Crowder fit.....again, you have to be one, to know what it mean!!!! <lol>
In my quest: sorting, organizing, repurposing, donating, I got deep into a closet, things that have merely been moved time and time again, without any focus. Removed cleaning and laundry wraps from 1990 to 2004, yep, could not believe it either! And, I just had to go through the pockets...why or why?
Well, no secrets, right, just history..and glad I learned more..now all gone, and grateful I discovered before donation. Bet the reaction of church ladies would have been interesting!!!
No hard feeling, just a shock, an awe, and then the challenge of disposal...burn, shred, trash...of no value to anyone...and very ancient history,,and now, this evening that history has been placed into history file, never to be discussed or shared....and has received an appropriate ritual removal from the house.
As my dear Aunt Lora would say..just bless their soul, they are so special!
No harsh thoughts, no harsh feelings, forgiveness and thanksgiving for all that happens and has happened! And all that has been revealed! Like I always told PC, we all have a history.
Time is helping the tissues heal, and so happy I did not attempt this effort before now! Actually, after reflection, got a few great laughs from the findings!
May your pieces, especially the vintage ones, find a useful place, with the past finding a new focus and lead you into more peace, patience, and pride.
peace....piecing now to start anew, hopefully tomorrow!!!!
I feel a great work evolving!!!!watch out!!!
Mac
In my quest: sorting, organizing, repurposing, donating, I got deep into a closet, things that have merely been moved time and time again, without any focus. Removed cleaning and laundry wraps from 1990 to 2004, yep, could not believe it either! And, I just had to go through the pockets...why or why?
Well, no secrets, right, just history..and glad I learned more..now all gone, and grateful I discovered before donation. Bet the reaction of church ladies would have been interesting!!!
No hard feeling, just a shock, an awe, and then the challenge of disposal...burn, shred, trash...of no value to anyone...and very ancient history,,and now, this evening that history has been placed into history file, never to be discussed or shared....and has received an appropriate ritual removal from the house.
As my dear Aunt Lora would say..just bless their soul, they are so special!
No harsh thoughts, no harsh feelings, forgiveness and thanksgiving for all that happens and has happened! And all that has been revealed! Like I always told PC, we all have a history.
Time is helping the tissues heal, and so happy I did not attempt this effort before now! Actually, after reflection, got a few great laughs from the findings!
May your pieces, especially the vintage ones, find a useful place, with the past finding a new focus and lead you into more peace, patience, and pride.
peace....piecing now to start anew, hopefully tomorrow!!!!
I feel a great work evolving!!!!watch out!!!
Mac
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Just another sleepless night!
Wednesday, September 10,
Abit after 5 am, no sleep tonight. Seems like my body just wants to keep moving, brain in gear, and when I accepted I might need to take melatonin for sleep, saw it already after 3 am, so too late. Instead I meditated and tried to focus on all the gratitude I have in my life.
Have you ever tried to do something and had to admit, grudgingly, that it was not within your limitation and/or capacities? Well, this happened multiple times today, so that is now on my gratitude list...I can not do all that I want, as quickly and efficiently as I want, and sadly am dependent upon others to help....not a bad thing, but when it involves moving heavy furniture over a six inch lift...not possible. I tried and tried, then accepted....leave it alone! Maybe God's special way of letting me be reminded to "let go" and "let it be"?
Why are the nights so long and the days so short? This is a question for profound philosophers, not this humble Southern belle! I expect to actually see the dawn'a light this morning, a rare sight for me, and a gift from above...add that to list.
Been reading about different religious beliefs this night. And I know, this is a most unusual but useful fact finding quest. Amazing...God created all of us, and then we struggle with each other, with difference in beliefs and practices, and proclaim that we are right and others are wrong....
As a youth, long ago, I remember an experience when, at a church summer camp, the clergy staff got together, to speak and pray for me, to save my soul, since I had pierced earrings, wore makeup, and seemed to be happy....they prayed and prayed. I knelt in reference to GOD and listened, to that small voice inside me, telling me not to judge them , they were trying to do what they felt was right! yes, this may seem unusual, if so, you do not really know me.
My parents, ordained ministers of the
fundamentalist church camp I was in attendance, had allowed me the earrings, the makeup, and the confidence to be happy within myself....for them, I shall always be grateful.
daddy always told me, do not judge others, let GOD do that, and HE will. I was taught, and still believe strongly that each person must account for their actions, and will be "accountable" according to their spiritual path, to their own discernment.
Wow what an unusual thought path tonight..and I KNOW, I just KNOW that this is my path, my gift from above. And I am struggling to live up to this expectation. For I know I shall be "judged" and do not want to be found lacking....sounds like my mother speaking now!
I really do miss my dad, he passed into heaven a few years ago, but in times like this, I hear his wisdom and teachings. I sure was a challenge, I am sure, to him and mom, however we all survived to tell the tale! Only wish I had told him more often how much I admired and did learn from him and mom.
You see, I was encouraged to explore many thoughts, to question and learn any and all things of interest, just to stay on the good/GOD side of my quest. Nothing was off limits, academically, spiritually, emotionally, socially..well, some things were..but this was the general idea.
I remember sitting at the dinner table, after eating as a family, and asking questions, searching the
Bible, researching different commentary explanations, even the encyclopedia at times, to learn of differences in culture, religion, beliefs, spirituality, etc. What a blessing and how very open and understanding it was. Well, this is my story, and I am sticking to it!
My very traditional, conservative parents raised a liberal free-thinker, believer...they even sent me to a liberal college, knowing that this would only help me learn more about myself and my faith, where I was the only one of my denomination on the campus....
What a roller coaster....and daily I think, "do not judge, do not....or you will be judged"..this does it for me....and it does NOT mean that standards/values/convictions/ethical codes do not exist within...just have learned that many people expect me to comply with their idea of me and what I should or should not do or be, and I stand accountable to only one Higher Power!
Amazing, really did some serious soul searching tonight, and prayer deep within to hear that little voice that tells me when things are right and when I need to continue my development..so off I go. Almost dawn, so think I shall make some decaf...the point I ask myself!...and open the front blinds and watch the rays of the sun come over my world,
At peace, but still cannot bring myself to piece here at home yet....will have to explore what that is about another time...
May peace prevail and starch of initial application in faith and spirit, remain firmly applied, and ironed with care and loving thoughts. Macs
Abit after 5 am, no sleep tonight. Seems like my body just wants to keep moving, brain in gear, and when I accepted I might need to take melatonin for sleep, saw it already after 3 am, so too late. Instead I meditated and tried to focus on all the gratitude I have in my life.
Have you ever tried to do something and had to admit, grudgingly, that it was not within your limitation and/or capacities? Well, this happened multiple times today, so that is now on my gratitude list...I can not do all that I want, as quickly and efficiently as I want, and sadly am dependent upon others to help....not a bad thing, but when it involves moving heavy furniture over a six inch lift...not possible. I tried and tried, then accepted....leave it alone! Maybe God's special way of letting me be reminded to "let go" and "let it be"?
Why are the nights so long and the days so short? This is a question for profound philosophers, not this humble Southern belle! I expect to actually see the dawn'a light this morning, a rare sight for me, and a gift from above...add that to list.
Been reading about different religious beliefs this night. And I know, this is a most unusual but useful fact finding quest. Amazing...God created all of us, and then we struggle with each other, with difference in beliefs and practices, and proclaim that we are right and others are wrong....
As a youth, long ago, I remember an experience when, at a church summer camp, the clergy staff got together, to speak and pray for me, to save my soul, since I had pierced earrings, wore makeup, and seemed to be happy....they prayed and prayed. I knelt in reference to GOD and listened, to that small voice inside me, telling me not to judge them , they were trying to do what they felt was right! yes, this may seem unusual, if so, you do not really know me.
My parents, ordained ministers of the
fundamentalist church camp I was in attendance, had allowed me the earrings, the makeup, and the confidence to be happy within myself....for them, I shall always be grateful.
daddy always told me, do not judge others, let GOD do that, and HE will. I was taught, and still believe strongly that each person must account for their actions, and will be "accountable" according to their spiritual path, to their own discernment.
Wow what an unusual thought path tonight..and I KNOW, I just KNOW that this is my path, my gift from above. And I am struggling to live up to this expectation. For I know I shall be "judged" and do not want to be found lacking....sounds like my mother speaking now!
I really do miss my dad, he passed into heaven a few years ago, but in times like this, I hear his wisdom and teachings. I sure was a challenge, I am sure, to him and mom, however we all survived to tell the tale! Only wish I had told him more often how much I admired and did learn from him and mom.
You see, I was encouraged to explore many thoughts, to question and learn any and all things of interest, just to stay on the good/GOD side of my quest. Nothing was off limits, academically, spiritually, emotionally, socially..well, some things were..but this was the general idea.
I remember sitting at the dinner table, after eating as a family, and asking questions, searching the
Bible, researching different commentary explanations, even the encyclopedia at times, to learn of differences in culture, religion, beliefs, spirituality, etc. What a blessing and how very open and understanding it was. Well, this is my story, and I am sticking to it!
My very traditional, conservative parents raised a liberal free-thinker, believer...they even sent me to a liberal college, knowing that this would only help me learn more about myself and my faith, where I was the only one of my denomination on the campus....
What a roller coaster....and daily I think, "do not judge, do not....or you will be judged"..this does it for me....and it does NOT mean that standards/values/convictions/ethical codes do not exist within...just have learned that many people expect me to comply with their idea of me and what I should or should not do or be, and I stand accountable to only one Higher Power!
Amazing, really did some serious soul searching tonight, and prayer deep within to hear that little voice that tells me when things are right and when I need to continue my development..so off I go. Almost dawn, so think I shall make some decaf...the point I ask myself!...and open the front blinds and watch the rays of the sun come over my world,
At peace, but still cannot bring myself to piece here at home yet....will have to explore what that is about another time...
May peace prevail and starch of initial application in faith and spirit, remain firmly applied, and ironed with care and loving thoughts. Macs
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Medications, with meditations...great piecer!
A last and oh my, where has day gone! With the artificial help of medication, Feisty (diva dog) and I slept most of day away..when not sleeping, via medications, trying to meditate, with visions of mountain stream and flowing water.
daily routine was to awake, eat, and go back to sleep. Now on a short break before bed! Such a great life!
Well, I am following medical advice...taking antibiotics, cough medicine, Zyrtec and Claritin, plus vitamin C...lots of it, and trying to shake this yuck!
I know this is allergies, but know also it is being driven by stress, believe it or not, one of the contributing factors in my allergy reactions. Yep, honest statement...for so long, I had to must "be well" that I think this is a delayed reaction....or not....
So, rest I must, and Feisty is helping me, just looked at the light and spoke to me. With her deep set eyes, said... time for bed.
So till the dawn shines beautiful rays of healing sunshine, peace with kindness, forgiveness without bias and may all your seams lie straight!
MacS
daily routine was to awake, eat, and go back to sleep. Now on a short break before bed! Such a great life!
Well, I am following medical advice...taking antibiotics, cough medicine, Zyrtec and Claritin, plus vitamin C...lots of it, and trying to shake this yuck!
I know this is allergies, but know also it is being driven by stress, believe it or not, one of the contributing factors in my allergy reactions. Yep, honest statement...for so long, I had to must "be well" that I think this is a delayed reaction....or not....
So, rest I must, and Feisty is helping me, just looked at the light and spoke to me. With her deep set eyes, said... time for bed.
So till the dawn shines beautiful rays of healing sunshine, peace with kindness, forgiveness without bias and may all your seams lie straight!
MacS
Monday, September 1, 2014
allergies, not piecing but at peace!
On the eighth day, God said...MaryAnn, pay attention to your body, you know oak trees and pollen are not good for you!
Got back home this afternoon, after seven days in Disney---Land of Magic and Memories..stayed at resort: Old Key West, love that place!
However, did NOT take enough maintenance allergy medications with me,so ran out, and the villa was a tree top level.
So drove home, carefully, with fever, chills, headache, and sweating.
Now have enough in me, but will take a few days to re-balance....and I KNOW BETTER!
Somewhere I have heard, read, and learned that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, and expecting different results...well, welcome to my state of hard lessons! Now, tonight, I doubt I can sleep, between coughing, sneezing, chills, etx. Rested all day, got my luggage and stuff into the house, but that is as far as it goes today!
No piecing tonight, but definitely at PEACE. Managed to drive to Sylvan Abbey late this afternoon, and have a long chat with PC, he reminded me to take care, and remember to be ME!
Told him about the journey/quest I have undertaken, and got thought back..I love you, do what you can to be happy! I am at PEACE!
So, nite to all, and may your pieces continue to be at peace with one another. MacS
Got back home this afternoon, after seven days in Disney---Land of Magic and Memories..stayed at resort: Old Key West, love that place!
However, did NOT take enough maintenance allergy medications with me,so ran out, and the villa was a tree top level.
So drove home, carefully, with fever, chills, headache, and sweating.
Now have enough in me, but will take a few days to re-balance....and I KNOW BETTER!
Somewhere I have heard, read, and learned that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing, and expecting different results...well, welcome to my state of hard lessons! Now, tonight, I doubt I can sleep, between coughing, sneezing, chills, etx. Rested all day, got my luggage and stuff into the house, but that is as far as it goes today!
No piecing tonight, but definitely at PEACE. Managed to drive to Sylvan Abbey late this afternoon, and have a long chat with PC, he reminded me to take care, and remember to be ME!
Told him about the journey/quest I have undertaken, and got thought back..I love you, do what you can to be happy! I am at PEACE!
So, nite to all, and may your pieces continue to be at peace with one another. MacS
Friday, August 29, 2014
August 29. 2014. Evening..."not my monkeys, not my circus".
In Old Key West, listening to happy children and families in the pool right beneath my window. What a wonderful sight and sounds. And so grateful that these are NOT my children, and NOT my problem. Saw one leap backwards into the pool, depth only 5' 7" with father encouraging him? Whew, all survived, so think I should finally take the time to update this blog.
Lots has happened, and yet it seems like nothing of relevance transpires. Did Albert Einstein truly understand the movement of time, and how we travel through time and space and it unfolds around us, through us, and within us? Amazing late night pondering.
Been on a healing quest, in search of me, a break from always being responsible and positive. Today I even got upset....yep, but not shouting!!!! As I say laughingly.
First to Houston:. To spend some needed time with my family, and also had the opportunity to celebrate with same at an amazing party for my mothers 90th birthday! She was so happy and. Y sister in law Pat did such a spectacular party, with all mom's friends invites, elegant decor, Kosher cake, pianist, servers for each table, etc. What a special day for a very special lady.
As you may or may not know, my mom is my role model. She has overcome so much, and still smiles, always finds the silver lining in any challenge that comes her way! She is the one responsible for my ability to see only what I wish to see, to believe I. The goodness of others, and when such persons may harm you, just honestly bless them, hold your head up..but walk away with dignity and peace....whew, really hard to actually accomplish, but an ideal?
Then on a long cruse, somewhere in the Caribbean. I never left the ship, however treated myself to a balcony suite, and sat for many hours and meditated, rested, slept, and repeated until we docked again in Galveston, TX. Had many hours to spend in reflection, and started my bucket list of "What I do NOT wish to do!"
Had a private memorial for PC in his thirtieth day...and I felt the clouds start to lift. Took a picture, and it now leads my path. Beautiful blue sky in coming from the left...remember I am left handed...and the rolling dark clouds starting to ascend into further heavens...and an amazing question mark, swirl, etc visible exactly in front of my view! Not a photographer, but this was for me the most inspiring and uplifting I have felt in a long long time.
Back to Houston, and spent quality time with my mom, my brother, my sister in law, my nephews and their wives and most especially my new great nephew Felix. He is the most amazing baby I have ever seen...of course, with the exception of my own son, so son, do NOT get excited, I still think you are the best!
Then home, Still attending to details, challenges with banking and flexibility, but somehow it is working. Still trying to sort out paperwork, how does it grow so fast? Even as I sort and shred? Think it is multiplying at night,
On a more serious note, as if financial realities are not serious enough, the memorial plaque is in place now for PC, labeled per his wishes with the Russian Orthodox cross, the word "GRAMPY" and a dove in flight. Sad for the reality, however it looks as he wishes.
I miss him so, but rest easier knowing now his quest in over and he rests in peace with. heavens bounds, without pain he endured.
Now off again, to return next week. I suppose. This is another period of reflection and retracing where I might have placed my happier nature. It does seem to be working.
Had several good girl friends come and stay with me in this resort, to recharge myself and thank them for all they did to help PC and me during the most difficult period of my life. Without their help, as well as the intervention of my brother I do not think I would be as hopeful and determined as I am today. t
Girls
Lots has happened, and yet it seems like nothing of relevance transpires. Did Albert Einstein truly understand the movement of time, and how we travel through time and space and it unfolds around us, through us, and within us? Amazing late night pondering.
Been on a healing quest, in search of me, a break from always being responsible and positive. Today I even got upset....yep, but not shouting!!!! As I say laughingly.
First to Houston:. To spend some needed time with my family, and also had the opportunity to celebrate with same at an amazing party for my mothers 90th birthday! She was so happy and. Y sister in law Pat did such a spectacular party, with all mom's friends invites, elegant decor, Kosher cake, pianist, servers for each table, etc. What a special day for a very special lady.
As you may or may not know, my mom is my role model. She has overcome so much, and still smiles, always finds the silver lining in any challenge that comes her way! She is the one responsible for my ability to see only what I wish to see, to believe I. The goodness of others, and when such persons may harm you, just honestly bless them, hold your head up..but walk away with dignity and peace....whew, really hard to actually accomplish, but an ideal?
Then on a long cruse, somewhere in the Caribbean. I never left the ship, however treated myself to a balcony suite, and sat for many hours and meditated, rested, slept, and repeated until we docked again in Galveston, TX. Had many hours to spend in reflection, and started my bucket list of "What I do NOT wish to do!"
Had a private memorial for PC in his thirtieth day...and I felt the clouds start to lift. Took a picture, and it now leads my path. Beautiful blue sky in coming from the left...remember I am left handed...and the rolling dark clouds starting to ascend into further heavens...and an amazing question mark, swirl, etc visible exactly in front of my view! Not a photographer, but this was for me the most inspiring and uplifting I have felt in a long long time.
Back to Houston, and spent quality time with my mom, my brother, my sister in law, my nephews and their wives and most especially my new great nephew Felix. He is the most amazing baby I have ever seen...of course, with the exception of my own son, so son, do NOT get excited, I still think you are the best!
Then home, Still attending to details, challenges with banking and flexibility, but somehow it is working. Still trying to sort out paperwork, how does it grow so fast? Even as I sort and shred? Think it is multiplying at night,
On a more serious note, as if financial realities are not serious enough, the memorial plaque is in place now for PC, labeled per his wishes with the Russian Orthodox cross, the word "GRAMPY" and a dove in flight. Sad for the reality, however it looks as he wishes.
I miss him so, but rest easier knowing now his quest in over and he rests in peace with. heavens bounds, without pain he endured.
Now off again, to return next week. I suppose. This is another period of reflection and retracing where I might have placed my happier nature. It does seem to be working.
Had several good girl friends come and stay with me in this resort, to recharge myself and thank them for all they did to help PC and me during the most difficult period of my life. Without their help, as well as the intervention of my brother I do not think I would be as hopeful and determined as I am today. t
Girls
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